Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Let's paint friendship bongs
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives�
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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