i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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