Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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