The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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