break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
it wasn't lemon gatorade
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
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