who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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