so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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