Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
from now on my penis is your penis
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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