Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
