Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
