"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
