Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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