Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
