I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
