google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
If its not for food we ain't going out.
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