I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
