I think my vagina is haunted
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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