Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Randomize
