Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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