If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
