Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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