Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
