you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
