is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
