I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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