he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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