For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Randomize
