you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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