I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
