Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
They have beer where we have blood.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
