so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
