I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Randomize
