Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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