im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
