i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
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