I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
porn star boner night. come get it.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize
