i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
