I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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