just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Just pee around me
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
