what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
