Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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