Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Randomize
