I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
