I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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