Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
