can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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