Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
