i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
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