people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
