At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
